Let’s start the rant with what happened yesterday. Yesterday, I sat with you before the test and supposedly we studied. Supposedly. We both know the truth. We talked. About what, I can’t remember for sure. We talked a bit about manga, a bit about marriage and religion, a bit about the exam, a bit about some people we know, and some other things I can’t remember too well. But you did say something along the lines of “you coming tomorrow?” to which I replied, “maybe, should I?” and you replied, “yes, of course you should, there’d be free food!”
You ended the topic with “the dress code is batik”, said with such finality in your tone as if you were so sure I would come.
I didn’t wear batik when I went to campus earlier this afternoon. Then I stumbled into one of the juniors. She was all enthusiastic and asked me to come to the event. I said maybe. I was reminded of what you said yesterday, and I made up my mind.
You know what I did next? I went to my best friend’s place, forced her to lend me a batik top (with the cutest bolero that I am almost tempted to steal from her), and dragged her all the way to the event although she was not really the most eager person in the world to come with me there. All for you. I wanted to talk to you, laugh along your side as we watch the little mini-games and events and quizzes and award-thingies. I came because you asked me to.
What did I get?
For one, you were right. She—the junior—was right. There really was free food, and it was pretty good too.
Secondly, it was fun. The weather was good and I laughed and laughed and laughed and got to talk to some friends and all.
But you. You, sir, single-handedly—or should I say effortlessly—ruined the night. Not by making snide, sarcastic comments or straight-out making fun of me like you usually do. No.
You ignored me. You did not even say hi. Was it really to hard for you to spot me? Because I’m pretty sure you noticed a friend sitting next to me. You did talk to her. But you did not even spare a single glance my way. I doubt you noticed that I even existed then.
And guess why it hurt? It hurt because I did all these for you. Because you eagerly said that I should come. Because we did have a great chat yesterday, like those other days we did talk a lot about practically everything. And then what happened was that you ignored me like those other days you ignored me.
I’m tired of you.
Last, but not least, do reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke every day because according to my best friend you were coughing like a tuberculosis patient on his deathbed tonight, and heavens, as much as I don’t want to care and it’s your absolute right to try dying I still worry about your health.
The Acquaintance (But Not Friend, Since Friends Say Hi To Each Other) Who Secretly Care For You.